Tag Archives: avoidance

Notes From The Awareness: 203

Straightforward is functional.

Please discuss. How does this play out in life?

I’ll start us out. We all know a friend coworker, or family member who just can’t seem to get to the point. We listen with as much patience as we can muster up while they flirt infinitesimally closer to the heart of the matter. We can predict what they will eventually say; we want to complete their sentences for them. The seemingly senseless loss of time is frustrating. Why do that have to drag things out?

News flash: we do this, too; we all do. When we’re uncomfortable with the subject matter, when the issue at hand is sensitive, when we’re nervous, we waffle. We dance around the perimeter of the topic to avoid making ourselves vulnerable—apologies are a good example—or to ward off potentially hurting or offending our audience—criticism or breakups come to mind. The dillydallying feels comfortable and desirable when we’re trying, for whatever reason, to be delicate. It’s maddening when we’re on the receiving end.

Today’s message reminds me that truth is sometimes challenging to deliver or receive, but dysfunction cannot thrive in its presence. When someone is slow to get to the point with me, I can reassure them that I’m listening and encourage them to speak out. When I’m afraid of how my words might be received, I can take a breath and state my point as simply, kindly, and directly as possible. When truth, kindness, and openness are in play, understanding can flourish.

How about you? Are you a plain speaker?